Saturday, June 24, 2006

My Kryptonite

I have an personal issue I want to address. Its a behavior that tends to come out when I am frustrated and feel supressed. I become my alter ego called Darko. It usually comes out when I am speaking with someone on a serious note and I can express myself to that person. Here is the process of the transformation. Its my pet peeve so to speak.
  1. I am giving my point of view to the person so they understand were I am coming from.
  2. That person questions my point.
  3. I cant or am not permitted to express myself due to constant interuption = kryptonite
  4. Aldo is gone, Darko takes over.
  5. I get loud, aggressive, and tend to act like a little bitch.
The point of this little glimps into my nature is to point it out to myself and find ways of getting my point across without turing to the dark side. The problem is that I dont realize it when its happening and then its to late. You could say it my Kryptonite.All my life I have had problems due to it and I want it to end. Its unacceptable for me to act that way. I tend to look for all the excuses in the world but thats not the right way to go about it. Most of the fights I have had with family, friends and ex-girlfriends have been directly related to this. Its the part of myself I dislike the most.

Any opinions and/or suggestions on how you guys deal with this issue are welcome. For all you fu*ks that have seen this side of me up close can go "bleep yourselves!"


PS. Sorry, that last sentence was Darko... For all you guys that have seen this side of me up close bear with me. Its a work in progress.

Thanks to Mariana for pointing out this link. I think it does a better job of explaining what the real issue is. Lack of communication


Aldo

3 comments:

Kathleen said...

dude.. i feel the same way too.. I guess its an inner u afterall.. I have a dark side of me.. which i find it sometimes to cruel to be a living human.. that another u just crawls out without u even knowing n the next moment.. *snap* and off goes a arguement or a fight..

well I believe that it can be control.. It depends on one self to overcome this..

Andre said...

*Hoping that I'm talking to Aldo, not Darko*

I wouldn't chalk up your 'disorder' to anything but the usual defense mechanism that we humans are known for. Most of us don't like to have our thoughts, feelings, and beliefs challenged -- especially when its done as an attack (or, at least if we PERCEIVE it as an attack). That being said, I don't think you need any psychoanalysis performed and "Darko" is not that harmful.

It's funny that you decided to name him after an ex-Piston. I mean, was "Udonis" already taken?!

@ Kathleen: You know, you've got a really interesting blog. I'll have to stop by once in a while. And -- don't take this the wrong way -- but you're gorgeous (in a "I'm a little bit past being a minor" sort of way).

Funny post, Aldo...

Kathleen said...

Aww.. Thanks andre you're making me blush.. haha.. Oh well looks like France is gonna get this WC 06...